Select on the left to navigate through the english articles of that issue.
The Centre local de développement (CLD) de Brome-Missisquoi is betting on hiking and snowshoeing in its outdoor development plan. In French, hiking is « randonnée pédestre » and differs from other types of « randonnées » such as horseback trail riding, cross-country skiing, cycling, etc. The plan supports walking year round and is extended to snowshoeing that uses an apparatus that facilitates walking on the snow...
The plan, therefore, addresses a large market. Walking is growing in popularity: to save energy, to stay healthy, to socialize, to lose weight and even to raise funds. Walking is natural, may be practiced at all ages, requires no sophisticated or costly equipment and may be exercised anywhere. Then, how does one turn it into a drawing card and an economic engine?
The answer is quite simple. To reach vantage points offering great landscapes, to observe the flora and fauna in their natural surrounding, to obtain more vigorous exercise, to get out of the house... one must go to the mountains! They are a paradise for hiking and where walking becomes specialized. Here it is more robust, requires on occasion more sophisticated equipment such as hiking boots, a back pack, a water bottle, a map of the network visited.
The Brome-Missisquoi region is therefore investing to give itself a “durable” product and an integrated structure. If the Sutton area already has a network of more than 90 km of trails, it has the potential to spread to other towns joining them one to another. The plan aims to link trails to lodging, restaurants and various points of interest. The partners would seize the opportunity to educate people about the values of nature and of the ways of maintaining it. Since people have a tendency to respect and preserve what is useful and appreciated, conservation begins with controlled usage. In this way the experience will remain intact and available for future generations.
INVESTING with solicitude - certainly, because there will be returns on investment. Firstly, in well-being, then in resources, afterwards in funds with important economic benefits for the partners: taxes for the municipalities, revenues and profits for busi-nesses, employment for citizens, savings in healthcare and conservation for the general population.
Ahead march! Take advantage of the multitude of trails and services with so much promise of solicitude throughout the four seasons.
Denis Boulanger
By Catherine Canzani
There's something about country folk – a willingness to drop everything and help. Pulling someone out of a ditch, stopping when there's a car with mechanical problems, bringing a meal to the neighbour who's been ill. Maybe it comes from the history of the people here in the Townships who had to share and collaborate just to make it. Whatever the reason, I'm glad that we still today show solicitude for those around us.
I remember once, fifteen years ago, when extending a bit of kindness brought us more than we'd ever expected. It was a scorching July day and the sky was heavy with an approaching storm.
The town of Sutton was buzzing with cyclists from all over the Americas here for the big Coupe des Amériques. Roadblocks were set up, red cones in place. Volunteers in their matching T-shirts stood at street corners. My husband Stéphane who worked at Velo Sutton then was still too young to participate in the Masters race but he got to taste the excitement through working at the bike shop, rubbing elbows with the racers and listening to their racing stories.
Late Friday afternoon, an out-of-breath racer from New York came rushing into the bike shop, a broken bike at his side. “I'm about to miss my start,” he panted. “My chain is broken. Can you help me?” Alain, who was also a bike mechanic at the shop, quickly fixed the chain, threw the bike in the car and drove the man to his starting point just in time. Both bike mechanics figured that would be the end of it. They had saved the guy's race which was all in a day's work for them.
But the story didn't end there. Later that evening, Stéphane and I drove through the village, windows down, letting the cool evening air into the car. As we drove past the bike shop we saw a man sitting on the steps of the bike shop, the Closed sign hanging like a sentence behind his head. His bike was leaning against the railing and the man's wife paced back and forth. “That's the guy from this afternoon,” said Steph. “We fixed his bike and got him to the race just in time but it looks like he's got problems again. Look how discouraged he is. I'm going to stop.”
The man's face lit up like a Christmas tree when he saw us pull in. “Got problems again?” my husband asked. “Hey!” the racer exclaimed, “You're the bike shop guy. My chain broke again and I've got an 8:00a.m. start time in the morning.”
“Your bike's gonna need some work,” Stéphane told the NY racer as he checked it out, “Follow me to my house. We'll get it fixed.”
We learned the couple's names were Chuck and Mary and they came from Syracuse, New York. Stéphane worked on the bike under the porch light as we chatted about our lives and were surprised to find out that we had a lot in common. They were significantly older than us, yet it didn't matter. Somehow the four of us just clicked. An hour later they were on their way, bike fixed, acquaintances made. To thank Stéphane for “rescuing” him, Chuck invited us out to supper the next night. Several hours and many glasses of wine later, we were well on our way to becoming friends.
Isn't it ironic that one little show of solicitude resulted in us meeting a couple that would, from that day on, be such close friends. Stéphane and Chuck have raced together, while Mary and I have spent countless hours in her hot tub philosophising about our lives as teachers, wives and mothers. My children have grown up with Chuck and Mary encouraging all their new conquests and adventures – first words, first teeth, and yes, even first time riding a two-wheeled bike. You never know what extending just a bit of solicitude will bring you. Go ahead and give it a try.
The Solicitous Women of Missisquoi County
Heather Darch – Missisquoi Museum
“A nation cannot rise above the level of its homes, we women must work and study together to raise our homes to the highest level possible.”
Adelaide Hoodless
When her infant son died in 1889 from drinking impure milk, Adelaide Hunter Hoodless (1858-1910) became devoted to the betterment of education for women. She campaigned for the pasteurization of milk, published and taught classes in domestic science. She helped found the National Council of Women, the Victorian Order of Nurses and the National Association of the YWCA. In 1879, Mrs. Hoodless established the first Women's Institute which she intended as a portal to education for rural women. Within a decade of this first meeting, 500 Women's Institutes had been created across Canada and by the middle of the 20th Century, the Women's Institute was known as “Canada's unique contribution to the world”.
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« Women's Institute» members at a study circle regarding safe food preparation c. 1922 |
The original purpose of the Women's Institute was to improve the quality of life of rural women through the study of domestic science. The Institutes became widely influential and directly affected government policies on child welfare and women's interests; medical care and child dental care; and the availability of recreational and library facilities in rural communities. In the early years, courses were held in cooking, sewing, nutrition, childcare and handicrafts. Subjects later expanded to include farm administration, leadership preparation, money management, family planning, small business development and skills training. Adelaide Hoodless' aim was to establish and develop what might be described as a “rural university” for women and her theory that women could help women to improve their condition and become a viable force in the world, inspired many women of all ages to join right across the country.
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Elizabeth Ann Beach |
In 1888 a young milliner named Elizabeth Ann Johnson married George Beach of Dunham QC. The new Mrs. Beach settled with her husband into “Brookside”, an ancestral stone farmhouse built by the Beach family and situated between Cowansville and Dunham Village. The young couple immediately set to work to improve the quality and condition of the farmstead. They both had a keen interest in studying modern farming methods. George Beach was a director of the Missisquoi County Agricultural Society and thus Elizabeth was close to the policies and current discussions that concerned local farming practices at the time. George and Elizabeth raised Ayrshire cattle and sheep and erected the first silo in Dunham Township. They also had nine children all of whom attended university which was quite unusual at that time. While she still had most of her family at home, Elizabeth heard about the work of Adelaide Hoodless in Ontario. The new homemaking clubs intrigued her to the point that she called a preliminary meeting in her own parlour on a cold January afternoon in 1911 to determine if there was enough interest in forming a local homemakers club. A few weeks later on January 27th 1911, an inspired and enthu-siastic Elizabeth called another meeting in Best's Hall in Dunham where women were introduced to the objectives of the Women's Institute. On that same day, Elizabeth Beach was acclaimed president of the first Women's Institute (WI) in Quebec and within that first year, the Dunham WI numbered 31 members. With the motto “For Home and Country” as her guide, Mrs. Beach travelled throughout Missisquoi County to talk about the importance of domestic economy while inspiring many communities to establish their own WI groups. A Missisquoi County executive was established in 1912 and Elizabeth was elected president. Although the Women's Institute in Quebec was first known as the Quebec Homemakers' Club until 1920, the intention to care for the well-being of women and their children was the same as it was in other provinces. By 1919 the provincial organization came into being with Elizabeth Beach as its president. She even helped establish the Federated Women's Institutes of Canada where she also served on the executive.
Elizabeth was instrumental in seeing the evolution of the W.I. during the Depression years. This time period brought a new interest in civic responsibility. Women's Institutes began studying laws relating to women and children, the Old Age Pension Act, The Mother's Allowance Act, The Minimum Wage Act for Women and Girls, and the Devolution of the Estate Act and recommended legislative changes for the betterment of women's rights. In the early 1940s, When her infant son died in 1889 from drinking impure milk, Adelaide Hunter Hoodless (1858-1910) became devoted to the betterment of education for women. She campaigned for the pasteurization of milk, published and taught classes in domestic science. She helped found the National Council of Women, the Victorian Order of Nurses and the National Association of the YWCA. In 1879, Mrs. Hoodless established the first Women's Institute which she intended as a portal to education for rural women. Within a decade of this first meeting, 500 Women's Institutes had been created across Canada and by the middle of the 20th Century, the Women's Institute was known as “Canada's unique contribution to the world”.
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c. 1916 |
The original purpose of the Women's Institute was to improve the quality of life of rural women through the study of domestic science. The Institutes became widely influential and directly affected government policies on child welfare and women's interests; medical care and child dental care; and the availability of recreational and library facilities in rural communities. In the early years, courses were held in cooking, sewing, nutrition, childcare and handicrafts. Subjects later expanded to include farm administration, leadership preparation, money management, family planning, small business development and skills training. Adelaide Hoodless' aim was to establish and develop what might be described as a “rural university” for women and her theory that women could help women to improve their condition and become a viable force in the world, inspired many women of all ages to join right across the country.
In 1888 a young milliner named Elizabeth Ann Johnson married George Beach of Dunham QC. The new Mrs. Beach settled with her husband into “Brookside”, an ancestral stone farmhouse built by the Beach family and situated between Cowansville and Dunham Village. The young couple immediately set to work to improve the quality and condition of the farmstead. They both had a keen interest in studying modern farming methods. George Beach was a director of the Missisquoi County Agricultural Society and thus Elizabeth was close to the policies and current discussions that concerned local farming practices at the time. George and Elizabeth raised Ayrshire cattle and sheep and erected the first silo in Dunham Township. They also had nine children all of whom attended university which was quite unusual at that time. While she still had most of her family at home, Elizabeth heard about the work of Adelaide Hoodless in Ontario. The new homemaking clubs intrigued her to the point that she called a preliminary meeting in her own parlour on a cold January afternoon in 1911 to determine if there was enough interest in forming a local homemakers club. A few weeks later on January 27th 1911, an inspired and enthu-siastic Elizabeth called another meeting in Best's Hall in Dunham where women were introduced to the objectives of the Women's Institute. On that same day, Elizabeth Beach was acclaimed president of the first Women's Institute (WI) in Quebec and within that first year, the Dunham WI numbered 31 members. With the motto “For Home and Country” as her guide, Mrs. Beach travelled throughout Missisquoi County to talk about the importance of domestic economy while inspiring many communities to establish their own WI groups. A Missisquoi County executive was established in 1912 and Elizabeth was elected president. Although the Women's Institute in Quebec was first known as the Quebec Homemakers' Club until 1920, the intention to care for the well-being of women and their children was the same as it was in other provinces. By 1919 the provincial organization came into being with Elizabeth Beach as its president. She even helped establish the Federated Women's Institutes of Canada where she also served on the executive.
Elizabeth was instrumental in seeing the evolution of the W.I. during the Depression years. This time period brought a new interest in civic responsibility. Women's Institutes began studying laws relating to women and children, the Old Age Pension Act, The Mother's Allowance Act, The Minimum Wage Act for Women and Girls, and the Devolution of the Estate Act and recommended legislative changes for the betterment of women's rights. In the early 1940s, Citizen's Forum content in the W.I. study circles, a richer exchange of ideas improved the educational experience. Before her death in 1942, Elizabeth was able to see the formation of the international organization of the Associated Country Women of the World. Rooted in its humble rural beginnings of the Women's Institute, the ACWW now operates in 70 countries and has a membership of nine million in 365 member societies. The solicitude of founding visionaries like Adelaide Hoodless and Elizabeth Beach has meant the continuing care and encoura-gement of women in all aspects of life, and the development of the abilities, confidence, and prospects of women living in rural communities. Nearly one hundred years after the first Women's Institute was formed in Quebec, this organization continues in its endeavours to improve the lives of rural families.
Note: The Beach home and a cairn acknowledging the founding of the Women's Institute can still be found in Dunham QC. Sources: QWI Pioneers 1911-1981; “The Beach Farm”: Missisquoi Historical Society vol. VII; Adelaide Hoodless: Canada Heirloom Series Volume 4 Visionary Social Reformer 1857-1910; J. Douglas, Modern Pioneers for Home and Country 1909-1959.
Musée Missisquoi Museum
2 rue River, Stanbridge East, Qc J0J 2H0
450 248-3153
info@museemissisquoi.ca
www.missisquoimuseum.ca
How Do Country Kids Show Solicitude?
I asked my students how they thought children who live in the country show solicitude. Several hands shot up. “We love our animals and take good care of them,” one student told me. I agree. Children who live in the country have a deep love of animals, especially because many of them live on farms and help to care for the animals around them. Wyatt Westover shared a story of how he had to give two of his horses away and how it affected him.
C. Canzani
By Wyatt Westover
Editor's note : this text is unedited
Everything seemed normal that morning. I was lying in my bed and it was seven o'clock. It was so quiet, you couldn't hear a mouse run across the floor. At about five past seven, someone broke the soundless streak. I heard the sound of a door swinging open. There was a thumping up the stairs. In came my dad and he swung my door open.
“Wyatt, coming to the barn?”
“For what!”
“We're giving away Tip and Tom. “ I looked at him with amazement.
“WHY?”
“A guy's two work horses died and he absolutely needs them to be replaced, so we're selling them to him.”
“This sucks.” I slipped out of bed. I ripped open my drawer and grabbed a pair of sweat pants. I pulled them on and I grabbed a sweater out of my closet, and I yanked it on. I raced down the stairs. My dad was waiting in the truck. I flung the house door open, walked out and slammed it shut. I jumped down the stairs and onto the pavement. I picked up speed and ran to the big red truck. I chucked the door open and hopped in. My dad backed up into the curb.
I didn't want to see these two horses leave, but I knew it was too late. My dad turned the curb at the top of the driveway. He let off the gas and soared down the driveway. We came to the bottom. He slowly applied the brakes, and came to a stop. He looked both ways and stepped on the gas. We arrived at the barn and I ran to the horse field. Tip and Tom were standing there like two soldiers. I reached over the fence and felt the cool air on my hand as I touched Tom's nose, squeezing in every last second with this colossal wonder. I stroked my hand back and forth, feeling his silky nose. I ducked under the fence and slipped through. I stood between the two horses. I slowly pushed my hand forward toward Tip, the big old girl, I flattened my hand on her face and started to give her my good-byes. I hugged the horse with a squeeze.
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Photo by Denis Boulanger |
I didn't want to see these horses leave. I squeezed harder and harder. I let go of Tip and turned toward Tom. I squeezed his neck even harder; I'd miss the old man. I let off and turned away from them. As I started to walk away I took a last look at them. I saw it in their faces that they were going to miss me, and that they were saying good-bye. A tear rolled down my eye. I ran back to the field and hugged them both at the same time. They both started to sort of cuddle with me. I felt the tears roll down my eyes. I knew it was time. I turned away and walked out. I looked back at them, and the expression on their face was telling me good-bye, and this time I knew I couldn't go back. I walked toward the truck, stopped in front of the front door and looked at them one last time. They were still standing there as formal as can be. I felt a last tear roll down my eye. It was the last time I would see them. Yes, I would miss them and I knew that they would miss me too.
Solicitude: Is that all those ads we get in the mail?
What does this word Solicitude really mean? May there be only one meaning? Does the word bear any significance in today's “ego” fearing yet still infantile-like bewilderment, as we face the universe and all its creations (you and I included)? This being said, here's what a few co-Suttoners had to say.
Christine Boulanger breeds and breathes Solicitude. I shall go so far as to state that she definetly exhales and exudes that same inner feeling. Of course Christine doesn't necessarily realize this.
As I walked into “ Le Livre d'Or “ on rue Principale in Sutton, I just brazenly asked Christine what her thoughts were regarding Solicitude. Her first reaction was, “I'm not sure that I should be part of your article”. I asked, “Why?” She responded with, “I don't really know the significance of the word.” So I quickly assured her that nobody else did either. In a way, she was disappointed that she could not help me. But “EUREKA!” came rushing down from the overflow of Archimedes's bathtub. Christine offered to look up this departed word. Then and then only, would she comment. We went to the “Webster dictionary”, after a while we met Merriam and followed through with “ The Merriam-Webster dictionary”, then “Le Larousse”, “Le Petit Robert”…etc, but to no avail. This word might not exist! Until we found out that the spelling was different in both languages. We both laughed. Her main take on this moment was “Perseverance”. We therefore agreed that this has a lot to do with Solicitude.
Amongst other things, Maaike Zuyderhoff runs a “cuisine collective”. In a communal effort of Solicitude, all participants first sit at a kitchen table and decide on a menu. Then they establish a shopping list. As agreed upon, all costs are shared evenly and so are the chores. If you are an old bachelor like myself and your only specialty is peeling vegetables, you are more than welcomed. The girls will surely find you something to do. For less than 20 bucks, you will go back home with more than 10 “plats de résistance”. Everything is conceived in a “freeze while it is fresh” manner.
Maaike also runs a B&B operation of her own but this has more to do with Books & Bindings. The passion she expresses for her art is overwhelming. Solicitude has a lot to do with it. The profile of the client's needs, the actual destiny and life-span of a particular book, the fashion in which it is meant to be used, the material that will be chosen, all of these afore-mentioned items have a lot to do with the ultimate “caring” of one's work. I cannot resist sharing this story, so I quote Maaike: “Solicitude is like waiting in line at the cash-register in the IGA. A mother with her three children and modest shopping cart add themselves to the queue. What do I do? Well I invite them to pass ahead of me”.
If I had to put this in terms of a survey, I would state that 99.98% of the people I questioned had but a vague inkling, if any at all, on the definition of Solicitude. And so be it, I present you Eric Gilker.
Eric did not know what exactly it was that I expected of him. Which is more than fair, considering all the respect he has for his elders. Eric really tried to help me, as he would any old slightly debilitated and needy person. So he confided that Solicitude reminded him of the song Imagine by John Lennon. Bless your soul, Eric.
Steffani Wilson was raised in Sutton. She takes pride in this and could prevail in your financial affairs as an accomplished “conseillère autonome”. Her earnest and honest demeanor is like a contribution to the commonwealth of our community. Plus she is very pretty in person and in persona. Yet her heart never floats far from “Edward's General Supplies” store in West-Brome. That happens to be a hubby of her's.
In Steff's own vision of life, Solicitude means compassion. It's that inner “ bring together” we get when we feel other people's emotions. As an example, she reminisced on the recent passing away of a 15-year-old cousin. At a specific moment, she could actually feel the pain and anguish of her aunt and uncle. And as we were speaking, I could tell that these same emotions were coming back. So I well understood when she said, “ I have nothing else to say ”.
It is now a sunny “Thanks for the giving” Monday morning. We are the 3 wise men: Georges Constantin, Serge Beaudet and myself sitting on a frugal-like patio on rue Principale, adjoining Georges's art boutique, just watching the traffic go by. After many days of venting my frustrations on not meeting enough English speaking locals, just tourists, so how will I finish my article? For the past 48 hours Georges and Serge offered whatever they could to cheer me up. They even invited me out for lunch. They are francophones and I find it difficult to translate other people's opinions. But I had nothing to lose.
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Georges Constantin, photo by Denis Boulanger |
So “Les Boys”, do you have any comments on Solicitude? As expected, they were part of the 99.98% of the people I had questioned. But the word “Compassion” rang a bell. “Mais oui!” they both exclaimed. Then Serge offered me a compelling portrayal on the art of listening, “Listen to what other people say and try not to interrupt. Otherwise, we lose the train of thought.” Then Georges stated that he was not too comfortable with either word. Yet he himself would give you his shirt, feed you a meal, listen to your woes all night, offer you bedding, maybe throw in a few bucks if the setting is appropriate. Still Georges does not feel at ease with Solicitude. Go figure it out.
As for myself, Solicitude is what I feel when I hold a baby in my arms. When I play with kids. When I speak with teenagers. When I am sharing my experiences with young parents. Now if I can only make it to the 30 and over…
Rolland Potvin
I had just landed in Kuala Lumpur the other night on a flight from Mumbai - India to Malaysia in less than six hours, but truly a world away. I had spent the last five plus months building confidence in navigating India, but Malaysia was terra incognito. It was already 10:30 pm when we landed, but I still had much to do. I needed to get some ringgits (the local currency), buy a guide book, rescue my pack, go through Immigration and Customs, and find the KLIA Ekspres train to KL Sentral, the main bus and train station. Finally, I needed a teksi (a taxi) to where I was staying. Phew!
By Christmas, I will have backpacked for 12 of the previous 15 months. It's hard work and while I'm sure I could survive entirely by my own wiles, hardly a day goes by that I don't depend on the kindness of strangers. It could be directions, some translation help, or just the confirmation that I'm already walking in the right direction. That night at KL Sentral, Elma was helping me.
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Elma' couch, my bed in suburban Kuala Lumpur |
Elma's a new friend I have in Malaysia's capital city. Though we had never met, I had e-mailed her the week before from New Delhi to ask if I could sleep at her house. Her reply began “Welcome to KL!” and she included directions. I would be late but she said that was fine. She'd leave the gate open, the door unlocked, and I could sleep on the couch in the living room. She'd leave out sheets and meet me in the morning. “Get here when you get here,” she finished. So there I was at KL Sentral, at the teksi counter she'd advised, holding her e-mail out to show the man that I knew what it should cost me. Thanks Elma!
So just what sort of dream world was I traveling in? The world of CouchSurfing! Take a look at www.couchsurfing.com and see what I mean. Read the FAQs. The mission of CouchSurfing is “[To] internationally network people and places, create educational exchanges, raise collective consciousness, spread tolerance, and facilitate cultural understanding.” Sounds pretty lofty, but it really comes down to an exchange of caring -caring for folks a long way from home. You do it for me, I do it for someone else, they do it for yet another person, and so on. Toge-ther we blanket the world with goodwill, and help the traveler over the rough spots.
That's what Elma's note was about, the one she left me when she found me asleep and she needed to leave for work. It gave me walking directions to the bus and train, but explained how the bus is much cheaper. She told me where the B112 bus would take me (a good place to start seeing Kuala Lumpur) and counseled me to buy a return ticket: “You can ride all day on that ticket on any of the B buses!” I could get home on a B111, B112, B113 or B114. “Good luck,” she ended, “See you tonight!” Some rough spots are as small as that, but all are potentially annoying and time-consuming.
The next week in Singapore, my hosts Eka and Yacine loaned me the EZ-Link transit-card they keep for CouchSurfers. This is the key to Singapore transit; without it you're toast. It's good on light rail, the metro, buses, taxis even some McDonald's. Just use it, top it up as needed, and return it for the next CouchSurfer. Of course, this was all news to me but that's the magic of CouchSurfing - what is known and easy for your host is unknown and valuable to you. They even gave me a stamped, addressed envelope so I could use the card even after I had left them, to the very end of my stay; I just dropped it in the mail at Tanjong Pagar station as I left Singapore. (There's about SG$7 left on it; a happy surprise for some CouchSurfer!)
Every Couchsurfer is different, every house has its rules, and every relationship you create is unique. Just like people. You quickly learn that your host is as eager to meet a foreigner from a special little place called Sutton, as you are to meet them at their modest home in their exotic country. Think of it as organized solicitude.
But you don't have to be a world traveler, or even a host, to be a CouchSurfer. You can still be a reliable source of local information, either over coffee or by e-mail. The traveler just needs to know you're out there.
And you are out there. There are seven CouchSurfers in Sutton, and eight more within 20 miles of Sutton. Besides me, if you know Lynda Graham of Gîte Vert Le Mont B&B, then you even know a CouchSurfer! But not until a CouchSurfer has helped you will you really know how lucky you are.
So thank you, Jolanta, for meeting my late bus at the station in Riga. Thanks, Raj, for buying me my first Indian train ticket. Thanks, Harold, who I haven't even met yet, for agreeing to keep my laptop safe in Bangkok while I schlep around Cambodia and Laos. Thanks, Cosmin, for that great tour of fortress churches around Brasov and Sighisoara. And thank you, Aksana, for translating Joop and me around Minsk, and buying my train ticket to Kiev. Finally, thank you Toomas, of Tallinn, for my very first CouchSurfing experience, with funny Giuze (from Switzerland) and wise David (from Germany.) What a beautiful introduction to the world as it should be!
You can't buy caring. In fact it's worthless until you give it away. But after you do, as if by magic, it becomes priceless. Practice solicitude. Give of yourself. CouchSurf.
Jay Sames
jay.sames@gmail.com
Submitted from Melaka, Malaysia
Solicitude and the HO'OPONOPONO way!
When I heard about a psychologist in Hawaii who cured a complete ward of criminally insane patients, without ever seeing any of them, I wanted to know more. The psychologist would study an inmate's chart and then look within himself to see how he could create that person. As he worked to improve his own mental health, the patient improved.
He explained that he had worked for four years in the dangerous ward of the Hawaii State Hospital where they kept the criminally insane. The staff regularly called in sick or simply quit, as did most psychologists. "Dr. Len never saw patients. He agreed to have an office and to review their files. While reviewing the files, he would work on himself. After a few months, patients that had to be shackled were being allowed to walk freely, others who had to be heavily medicated were getting off their medication and those who never had a chance of being released were being freed. The staff began to enjoy coming to work. As more and more patients were well enough to be released, the staff eventually outnumbered the patients till the ward was finally closed.
What was Dr. Len doing within himself that caused those people to change?
“I was simply healing the part of me that created them”, he said. Dr. Len explained that total responsibility for your life means that everything in your life simply because it is in your life is your responsibility. In a literal sense the entire world is your creation.
OK now, this is tough to swallow! Being responsible for what I say or do is one thing. Being responsible for what everyone in my life says or does is quite another. Yet, the truth is this: if you take complete responsibility for your life, then everything you see, hear, taste, touch, or in any way experience is your responsibility because it is in your life. This means that terrorist activity, the president, the economy or anything you experience and don't like… is up for you to heal. They don't exist, in a manner of speaking, except as projections from inside you. The problem isn't with them, it's with you, and to change them, you have to change yourself. Blame is far easier than total responsibility, but I began to realize that healing for him and in ho 'oponopono means loving yourself.
"If you want to improve your life, you have to heal your life. If you want to cure anyone, even a mentally ill criminal you do it by healing you.”
So what exactly was Dr. Len doing, when he looked at those patients' files?
“I just kept saying, ‘I'm sorry and I love you', over and over again”, he explained.
That's it?
Turns out that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and as you improve yourself, you improve your world.
A year ago I decided to try it out and I am still doing it. Every time I catch myself passing judgment upon others or myself or am uncomfortable about a situation, I think, “I'm sorry, I love you” again and again. I am not going to tell you what happens when I do it; I will let you experience it for yourself, what do you have to lose - except maybe a feeling of imprisonment? It would take a whole book to explain this advanced technique with the depth it deserves.
Suffice to say that whenever you want to improve anything in your life, there's only one place to look - inside yourself. When you look, do it with love.
Manon Hutton
Emotional Freedom Technique Consultant
450-538-0553
alliance8@sympatico.ca
Authors' note: Excerpts in part by Joe Vitale
It seems to me that the origin and the history of public libraries would be interesting subjects to explore. Most villages have at least one library; some even have two. From the moment I became involved with my village library, I felt at home.
This feeling of being at home may sound exaggerated but when I take stock of my various experiences at the library, it comes down to countless simple sweet things. Library workers are usually volunteers who do everything there is to do in a library because they care. You could easily say that this is a good example of a harbour of attentive care and protectiveness or solicitude.
As you walk in to our library, you see two people sitting at two different desks. To keep it simple for everyone, there is one for each official language. There is no sign to tell you who is who and if you address either person in either language, he or she will help you in one way or another with what you need. The overall message is clearly to help you find the book you want.
I could go on and usually do when I am speaking to someone who does not know the library!
I have recently started to help out at the library. As a bookbinder, it was easy for me to offer help with book repair. Having frequented this library for over 20 years now, I knew that I would find that fundamental feeling of care and protectiveness or solicitude and was curious to see how this would play itself out.
I, along with other volunteers, started by examining the books in need of repair, what had already been done, what materials there were for repairs and what was expected of me. Pandora's box became Pandora's book!
As a guideline, I demonstrated how a Western sewn book is made with all its different parts. It became a reference point for repairs as the parts of a book in need of care could now be compared and evaluated. Evaluated - the word came up several times. Was it worth repairing a book if another one could be bought easily? If it was not possible to buy another copy, should it be repaired? We entered into a rather practical exercise of understanding the value of a book. In a library, as in your home, if you use a book often it is worth considering repair and what kind of repair is appropriate. Many of the ideas I use to think about each book are also the ideas we use in our daily lives. So ‘use it or loose it' becomes ‘use it or sell it or recycle it' in a library context!
Repairing a book leaves it stronger than when it was first bought as industrially made books are just not made to last or to bear up to library use. Because they are mass produced, they are widely available and we can choose how to use and reuse them.
It reminds me of my son who looked at me with an expression of ‘how could you say something so obviously wrong' when I told him his broken arm, once healed, would be stronger than before it was broken. I still thank the doctor who spontaneously offered the same positive information shortly thereafter.
With books and their parts, as with arms, hearts and many other broken things, they are usually stronger after they have been repaired with solicitude.
The value of a book, as with so many other things, is not only a question of money. The money markets are certainly forcing many of us into a reality check as to what is important. In the library, home or public, a book may be expensive and beautiful but not necessarily read or appreciated. This factors into how much time and material will be used to repair it, if it is to be repaired at all.
You can tell that books and bookbinding are my ‘dada'. Bookbinding is, in a way, my tuning fork. Because I have found a way to express solicitude in this one situation (bookbinding = a right note), it is easier to express it in so many others.
There is also a firm foundation of solicitude in the library where volunteers do so much for anonymous readers. They choose books and take care of them in so many different ways.
Solicitude is there in the repair of each book. It is easy to care for a lovely children's book with delightful illustrations and quaint text but also full of grungy marks, tears and missing spine. Time is not of the essence. Though daunting, just solutions are sought. The experienced gained is there to be used on other books which may not initially be quite so inspiring. The volunteers are fascinated by Pandora's book. It is full of all sorts of practical exercises of economy (learn to sharpen a blade and never need to replace it again), ecology (use linen rather than chemical-laden industrial book cloth) and art (the eye is pleased by clean lines and straight angles).
So how did this play itself out? I see lots of delighted volunteers who have just found another way of expressing their inherent solicitude in repairing broken books. Ultimately, all books and everything for that matter can be an occasion to practise solicitude!
Maaike Zuyderhoff
Since the beginning of time creatures on this planet have danced - both animals and plants. On earth and in the water they have moved to the rhythms of their respective environment. The sound of the wind through the trees and the water currents have been influential elements. Humans have danced to the beat of the drums, the shaking of the rattles and the melodies of air instruments. The act of dancing is as innate as eating and sleeping - just watch children listening to music. They allow the music to move their bodies and you can see an expression of joy sweep across their faces as they amuse themselves and all who witness this primal act. And they don't need any dancing lessons either.
So the more precise question you could ask is why DanSe to YourSelf? For many years I have been providing a space where people can come and do what is natural - dance. It is an opportunity to let go of the everyday worries and concerns allowing one to be taken over by the music and the instinctive desire to move, thereby creating an inspirational and contagious energy.
No technique is taught nor instructions given and one can do no wrong. Some guidance is provided so that participants are challenged but no obligations are imposed to make one uncomfortable. One is asked to respect wherever one is physically and emotionally. For example, the class might be asked to be aware of their feet as the music starts and then work up through their entire body, dancing to the rhythm of the beat, being aware of any sensations in the different parts of the body and encouraging these sensations to express themselves.
Each class always starts off with a connecting and grounding exercise that allows the participants to bridge the gap between the mind and the body. Throughout the session, a wonderful selection of World Beat music is chosen spontaneously to cater to the energy of the moment. A welcomed stretching and relaxation portion is offered at the end followed by an optional exchange where people can share their varied experiences with each other.
Information: www.sunshinecenter.ca or call 450 538-1791
Ilia Kavoukis
Editor's note:
Studio Sunshine Center located at 50 Principale N, Sutton, Studio 204.
DanSe to YourSelf classes are 11$ per 90 min. session and run from September to June twice a week; Tuesdays from 9:00 am to10:30 am and Thursdays from 6:30 pm to 8:00pm.
Yamaska Literacy Council and Le Sac à mots have collaborated with Ramon Vitesse, Cultural Agent in Cowansville and also an artist, on a project to reach people with low literacy skills. Using a silent comic strip with stencil art, the message is clear: "We can help you read better". In Quebec 800,000 adults have serious difficulty reading and the local promo plan includes bags and posters with an innovative comic art approach to reach these people. The launch is planned for the first week of December at the Cowansville BD Festival.
www.cowansville.org
The Yamaska Literacy Council is a non-profit literacy organization dedicated to helping adults and older youth acquire and improve their reading, writing and basic math skills. This second chance for learning is offered as a free, private and confidential service using innovative one-on-one teaching methods. Students are individually paired with trained tutors who volunteer their time and energy. Whether a student needs the basics or just wants to brush up on grammar and spelling, YLC offers quality programs that promote respect for the individual, a passion for learning, flexibility and teamwork. The results are well worth it – more independance… increased self-esteem… a better quality of life.
Information: www.yamaskaliteracy.ca or (450) 263-7503
Taking care of People and the Planet is all in the Details
You enter through the front door of a welcoming looking house having walked from the grocery store. Natural light floods the entrance way and there is a practical mudroom where you leave your boots (in a special boot rack), hang up your coat (each family member has a cub-by) and place your wallet and keys (there's room enough for a beautiful little table handed down from your grandmother). From the mudroom a staircase leads directly to a ski storage area (with a boot drying device), used for other sports equipment in the summer.
You bring the groceries to the kitchen that is also filled with natural light. It is close to the main entrance and at night is lit with low wattage bulbs. Speakers in the ceiling allow music to entertain whoever is cooking. The appliances are Energy Star and the hot water is heated by solar panels. The house is kept temperate by a geothermal system.
Through the dining room one can get a glimpse of a grand piano placed in its own niche with a view of the bird feeder in the yard – the yard is on the south side of the house with large windows to capture the heat of the sun in winter with awnings to cut the hottest sun of summer.
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An entrance in the process of being transformed to create more working and practical arrivals home |
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One conclusion can definitely be drawn from an encounter with this home – whoever designed it was being solicitous to :
1) humans in general and the way they go about their everyday tasks;
2) the particular owner of this home who happens to have many interests – amongst them, skiing, playing the piano, and bird watching;
3) the planet in trying to be as green as possible – maybe even having the house accredited as a LEED (or other green accreditation system) building.
When care is taken in every design detail, a house takes on its own life. The house itself is welcoming and reflects the solicitousness of its owner. The guest comes in, can take part in the life of the kitchen or sit in a comfortable living area, and the character of the owner comes through because his or her interests have been carefully integrated in the design.
Johanne Béland
450 538 0605
Architect
I bought GîteVert le Mont B&B here in Sutton four years ago. Before I bought the B&B, I knew nothing about what constitutes an official Bed & Breakfast so, in case you don't know either, let me tell you. Here in Quebec, and it is different in other provinces, a B&B is defined as a private home operating as an accommodation establishment with breakfast in situ included in the price. The owner must live in the house, cannot offer more than 5 rooms to rent and can only make meals for guests staying there. The B&B must also be registered with the Ministry of Tourism who arranges for an official inspection, repeated every two years, to award a classification of between one and five Suns (to distinguish us from inns and hotels who are awarded Stars).
The main objective of the classification system is to inform and protect the traveller by providing a reliable and independent description of the type of accommodation being offered. In addition, it is meant to encourage owners to enhance the quality of what they are offering. The classification is tailored to the type of lodging so the one for B&Bs is different from the one for inns or for tourist homes. In a B&B, particular emphasis is placed, as you might expect, on bedrooms, breakfast and bathrooms in that order. The classification process is a lengthy one but primarily the inspectors are assessing the quality of what the accommodation offers, the appearance and the cleanliness so, for example, what weight of towels, are they new or worn and are they well laundered. Everything is examined in detail and extra Suns are hard earned both in the money needed to upgrade your towels (cheap) or bathroom showers (expensive, especially when you have five) as well as in the effort it takes to provide a 3-course breakfast every morning. There is also a calculation to be made regarding the extra revenue you may or may not earn versus the investment required that may or may not result in an extra Sun. What has to be weighed is the balance between what customers expect and what the competition is offering and whether I can afford not obtaining the extra Sun.
Whilst the classification system is essentially a good one, it does not and cannot take into account the care that the owner takes of his clients. This is one of the principle things I love about running a B&B – with only 5 rooms it is easy to be highly solicitous of all my guests and I believe this very personal sort of investment of time and attention really pays back in repeat business and referrals. It is therefore something that can, should and often does distinguish Sutton as a tourist destination: a heartfelt desire for our visitors to have a great time here by helping them however we can. Micheline and Daniel at Auberge des Appalaches do it well so a particular pat on the back to them for their newly awarded extra Star and, may I say, to me and Vert Le Mont for my extra Sun.
Lynda Graham
Here in Quebec there are currently 1,542 B&Bs of which only 21 are classified at the 5 Sun level.
The Solicitude of Back to Basics
One month of living off the grid and eating only local foods.
We decided to simply turn off the electrical breakers at our home in Sutton (so, no appliances, no lights, no hot water, etc.), park the car, tractor and lawn mower (ride our bikes everywhere) and eat only foods that were grown in a hundred kilometer radius (no spices, no salt, no coffee or tea).
Our aim in doing this was to draw our attention to how we consume energy and to find local sources of available food. In this way we would learn how to adjust our carbon footprint and cut down on the environmental costs of food traveling such long distances to feed us.
Prior to the month of June we had some preparations to make. A hose was attached to the pond and brought downhill to the house. A small "room heater" wood stove with a precarious home-made chimney was erected near the house. A solar panel and back-up battery was ordered and on the way. The fridge was emptied; we ate the contents or gave them to friends.
We also did some reading: The 100 Mile Diet by Alisa Smith & J. B. MacKinnon, The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan and Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life by Barbara Kingsolver.
When June 1st dawned we had a small pantry of sorts - beans, nuts, cornmeal, oats, flax seeds, soy flour, oil and vinegar plus our own maple syrup and early produce from our vegetable garden.
One of the difficulties we found in looking for local products is that many of them appear to be local but in fact are not. It is thedistributor who is local, or the value-added producer, or some of the ingredients are local but not all.
We did not anticipate so much rain but took advantage by cooking on our Vermont Castings wood stove in the living room. During the first week, food was somewhat limited with asparagus and rhubarb most prominent. The caffeine withdrawal provoked headaches and we bathed sparingly as our pond was extremely cold at the beginning of the month... We figured out the food storage - our basement is cool enough to keep everything fresh. Being vegetarian has its advantages! We found greenhouse-grown cucumbers and tomatoes from Dunham at Alban Houle's in Sutton. The IGA provided us with Chagnon milk and butter from Waterloo. The Saturday markets in Sutton and Knowlton got started, the veggies in our own garden began to grow and we never looked back. The produce we ate was plentiful and varied and we became very creative with our cooking.
We expected that it would have been harder, both the off-grid experience and the local eating. We learned that food is available if you look around you. The internet is a big help in the research. If ever you try to reduce your carbon consumption, you can have reasonable expectations that you can set up systems that will see you through. Our water set-up with gravity feed from the pond gave us water for many different things (washing clothes for one); our well has enough pressure to give us a trickle of drinking water; the wood stoves both inside, a Vermont Castings Encore, and out provided what we needed to cook and heat water; our tandem bicycle with panniers served to get our food. It is all doable. It simply takes more time and more planning to do everything.
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Don and Dean |
We discovered that it is not about the money, although we certainly saved money. We went out rarely at night (cycling in the dark in the country side certainly has its challenges as well as its delights) and never to a restaurant or café. Entertainment was never paid for! Instead we invited friends over and fed them local food or played games such as Upwords or Quiddler by candlelight. Of course there were no hydro or gas expenses.
For the amount of inconvenience, the money we saved on hydro was minimal - less than $75. Remember ‘tho, we live in Quebec with abundant hydro generated electricity. We think that a better way for us to affect a savings on the environment would simply be to purchase less of those unnecessary extras that everyone buys. Perhaps less purchasing from China would reduce the output from the coal-powered factories. Actually, by riding a bicycle minimizes what you can purchase!
So it is all about preparation, organization, adapting, and laughing! We really enjoyed our time doing this challenge, are a little wistful that it is over, and are thinking of ways to make permanent changes. We will always be reminded of our fortunate situation when we recall that a woman said to us, "you are doing out of choice what I do out of necessity". Our conclusions from this experience are both general and specific. We can make simple decisions that effectively reduce our carbon footprint. We will ride our bicycle more often; we will use the car less and amalgamate errands; we will buy local food wherever and whenever we can (just found a new site www.mangezquebec.com); we will purchase less while supporting the local economy when possible; we will try to manage some solar and wind power. Sometimes it all feels overwhelming but it always comes down to the individual and each person's ability to reduce, reuse and recycle.
Deane Brebner
Donald Bissonnette
A search for the definition of the word ‘solicitude' (sollicitude in French) turns up some surprising results: depending on the source, the meaning can slide along a curious scale, going from straightforward ‘care and concern' to ‘anxiety and undue worry.' Where could such ambiguity come from? Is it possible to care too much about our selves, our families, and our communities?
In the book (and social phenomenon) Me to We, young Canadians Craig and Marc Kielburger propose that we in North America have become a ‘self-help society,' moving away from strong community connections and towards a highly individualized way of thinking. They propose that for a society to remain vital and healthy, its members need to realize that they are all interconnected. They all need to contri-bute to creating a warm, caring community, and also to go further than simply addressing the symptoms of its underlying social issues.
Citizens of Sutton enjoy a solid tradition of community service and volunteerism, from board meetings to pancake suppers, organizing sports activities, helping kids out with their reading and staffing the desks at the libraries in town. Over 30 local organi-zations draw their strength from the parents and community members who choose to give their time. These organizations touch upon culture, youth services, sports and leisure and community life. The men, women and kids who volunteer believe in what they do, and their efforts serve to strengthen the fabric of the community. Their implication also sets an example: the caring and compassion that we cultivate in our homes and in our circle of friends is a marvelous way of passing our own values along as well as a way to learn about others and to connect with other generations.
In the heart of the town of Sutton, the John Sleeth Center is home to no less than eight integral parts of community life - from the drop-in daycare Mon petit monde and the Jardin d'Enfants bilingual community preschool, Sutton's Youth Centre, the Volunteer Centre and the car-pool network, Arts Sutton gallery, to the Bibliothèque Sutton Library, it is a hub where people can come together, exchange services and seek solutions. The Volunteer Centre itself wasfounded in 1983, and includes such services as “Meals on Wheels,” home visits to shut-ins and the food bank.
The food bank depends on 3 regular volunteers who collect and organize non-perishable groceries and other necessities for people in need. Information about those who benefit from the food bank's services is kept strictly confidential. Year-round, the food bank is open on the 3rd Monday of each month, from 1:00 – 4:00 pm (even when that Monday is a holiday). At Christmastime, the activities of the food bank are more than doubled, when the Knights of Columbus lend their services for the annual food drive (la guignolée in French), and visit homes in the area on December 7 to collect cans and other non-perishable items. The food bank will be in full swing during the week of December 7 through 13 this year, remaining open every day from 12:00 to 4:00 pm, with the distribution of the baskets on Saturday, December 13th. Christmas baskets contain cans of vegetables, fish, fruit and beans, crackers, juice and such necessities as tea, sugar, coffee and rice. The food bank even accepts donations of frozen turkeys for the holidays! If you'd like to give to the food bank, any non-perishable food items are welcome; you may also choose to make a financial contribution, to the order of the Sutton Volunteer Centre (tax receipts are issued for donations of $10 and more).
Through volunteer activities, we develop bonds of caring, friendship and trust. Such bonds often lead to formal business and professional opportunities. Some high schools in Canada include community service as part of their curriculum. Volunteering gives everyone a chance to set commerce aside for a few hours and contribute authenticity to a project. Volunteering provides individuals and communities with something that is hard to measure, even to describe, something like “a heightened sense of faith in the world” (p. 46, Me to We). This year, there will be an effort to strengthen the base of parent volunteers at Sutton School. Speaking from my own experience, it is hugely rewarding to get involved in this enriching environment, meet the other kids in the schoolyard, experience the caring of the staff, share with the other parents, chop cilantro in the kitchen, plant trees and help install new playground equipment… every season brings its share of challenges and needs: for self, for the family, and for the community at large.
Kelli Ann Ferrigan
Recommended reading:
École de Sutton School
Sutton's new tourism portal
Official Town Site
Article about Sutton's arts community
Change the World for Ten Bucks (We are what we do: http://www.wearewhatwedo.org/ and http://www.wearewhatwedo.ca/)
Me to We: Turning Self-Help on its Head by Craig and Marc Kielburger
The reflection of who I am in the “mirror of who you are”
Solicitude is not a word that is part of my everyday vocabulary; I have never used it in speech nor in writing, nevertheless, it is something I have engaged in for most of my waking moments.
I grew up believing that to worry about others and focus on them rather than myself was synonymous with being loving. As a young girl I soon learned that an important part of my role in the world was to comfort and soothe the pain of others as well as to decipher their every need so that I could fulfill them, or at least try to. In truth, taking on a role of such importance was essential to the part of me that felt insignificant.
At thirty I decided to make a career out of it, seeing as I was so gifted at being present to other people's pain so I returned to university and studied psychology. My passion was ignited by the experience of using my own pain as a source of empowerment to grow and expand as an individual and develop the fervour for helping others to do the same. With a master's degree in counselling psychology I finally had a license to practice solicitude for a living!
My inner struggles began during my internship as I lay awake at night reliving the sessions with the students I was counselling. I was torn between feeling their pain and not wanting to lose my compassion and yet felt I could not survive if I continued to be so open. It was important for me to be compassionate but I struggled with the perception that my McGill professors were training me to become a detached, unemotional and objective therapist. The Latin words tabula rasa: an erased tablet or blank slate, echoed in my mind. To stay real and allow myself to feel the flow of emotions that touched me personally in the moment did not seem to be an option. I was afraid to be incompetent and unconsciously chose to put on the mask of an expert who had it all together. It was obvious no one would want a professional therapist falling apart during their sessions! I had to somehow disguise the weight of the pain and the pressure that I was inflicting on myself to save others.
My life experience has since shown me that living my own emotions fully, allowing them to be and expressed, makes me feel more solid and present in the moment than when I kept them “under control” and hidden. After having expe-rienced the discomfort of being a professional and human being that felt false and inadequate at times, it became crucial for me to be real and to look after my own emotional well-being above all else.
I have learned to accept that at times I feel inadequate and need to protect myself by hiding behind a mask, and that when I feel insignificant, I need to hide behind an illusion of importance through the role I play for others. There are times when I am not in touch with my inner power, my ability to care for and protect myself from within. In those moments I need to believe in the illusion of being separate from the world; wanting to live in a fish bowl for fear of being hurt and affected by things outside of me. As I conti-nuously grow and experience my ability to take care of myself, my perspective shifts gradually and naturally towards seeing myself more at the center of my own universe, where I am in my power and the outside world is helping me rather than harming me. The outside world is conti-nuously reflecting back some part of me that I cannot see.
I have learned that any preoccupation with someone has everything to do with me. How and what I see in others is a projection of some part of me. I express my worry, concern and care as well as judgments of others as a reflection of the issues I am resolving within myself. Owning what I think and feel about anyone and everything as an expression of myself helps me to accept the feelings I have. It is reassuring to know that when I am neither able nor ready to deal with certain issues directly, there is a natural mechanism that allows me to deal safely with these issues by projecting them away from me through an objective perspective. When I allow myself the spectrum of my emotions, including hate and judgment, it is an act of self-acceptance and self love that opens me up to a deeper self compassion and therefore truer compassion towards others. A far cry from the forced and shallow compassion I was trying to have as an untouched observer.
It is interesting that solicitude has the same root as solicit; as if solicitude were to mean we solicit others' state of being for our benefit. How great that we all benefit, since it is part of the perfection of being human!
Marie-Noëlle Gagnieux, M.Ed.
mngagnieux@gmail.com